心靈的港灣

英語幽默句子,英語如此搞笑,翻譯如此殘暴!


英語幽默句子,英語如此搞笑,翻譯如此殘暴!

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

開始我直接求上帝賜輛自行車。

後來我琢磨上帝辦事兒不是這個路數。於是老子偷了一輛然後求上帝寬恕。

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

你永遠不能戰勝一個純SB,因為他會把你的智商拉到跟他個水準,然後用豐富的經驗打敗你.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

曾以為我想要的是職業,結果發現我只是想要工資。

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

直譯:知識就是說你知道番茄是一種水果;智慧就好似不要把它放進水果沙拉裡。

意譯a:知識就是告訴你說應該把雞蛋放進籃子,

智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進一個籃子。

意譯b:所謂知識就是知道韓少和小四都屬於80後,但智慧告訴你最終還是男女有別。

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

上帝瞅著咱們呢,大夥好歹喜感點吧!

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

孩子就是:你先花2年,教丫們走路和說話。然後你再花16年教丫們坐定和閉嘴。

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says"If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?

當我填表的時候,有一項是“緊急情況聯繫:” 我填上了“醫生”,到時候我媽能幫上什麼忙?!

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

直譯:小孩子要中間名,純粹是為了讓他知道他啥時候真的有麻煩了。

意譯:起個全名就為了揍孩子前可以底氣十足地喊出來。

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

跳樓的時候,“啊——”的時候還沒死, “啪!”那才是死了。